burning breadth

I had to stop meditating this morning cause I felt like I was spinning on the inside. it was bad, like when I used to go to bed drunk, but I was sitting up straight and I felt like the left part of my body was spinning higher. it all started when I let my mind go. I wasnt thinking, but my brain started firing in sensual blasts of light. its been going like that since I went to the casco veijo in old panama city yesterday. I thought about a man I met on the carribean side of costa rica, that taught circus arts, he was from peru and could teach a kid to dance on stilts. I watched a man sing opera in berlin, under a purple haze of light while digs ate food of his naked stomach, would rats eat mine? I looked at a deep cream colonial, mansion, with gilt 5 layer thick crown moulding, lunging forward on rusted nails, I followed a short panamanian key holder walking carefully up dark banistered mahogany steps, through an old mansion still standing but getting sucked in the middle like a squeezed water balloon. I started thinking about angel, the street kid that smiled and had a tattoo of a crown on his shoulder, his mother who lived in the old catholic school on the banks of the atlantic, the dogs everywhere, and her clothes strung where good girls took off thier tartan plaids to shower. the kids screaming in the atlantic, and a SRO for six bucks a night thats got a corner room, with a desk, and shuttered french doors on a steel balcony. I looked at men shaving on a big gymnasium, with squat hookers picking scabs. yeah I have all kinds of crazy thoughts. thoughts of a floating art colony in the buenos aires port, built on a barge, where we’d all have dinner every night under christmas lights and wine I wouldnt drink, about pork loins wrapped in twine, marinating in thier own juices, a woman who smiles at me over the dark, filled night. I saw a young girl sitting on a corner in the old town, she had on jean shorts and her hair pulled back, and those lace sandals, that keep going up her leg, like an animal out of control, binding her to the street, binding her leg like a meat product in a pan, binding her like a rope to my bed. deep alazirin crimson, and some form of help I might be. welding and soccer and panama, thats when I started spinning lopsided from the right hand side up, like a flying saucer getting a jump start as my distributer randomly fires sparks into the burning breadth of my body.